LONG-ASS STORY, NOT PARTICULARLY FUNNY
When we moved here 7 years ago, we had work done, but a surprise (buckets to catch rain) new roof took a bite of the budget (nearly $11,000), so unfinished work remains undone. The hall bath needs to be gutted and redone from scratch. Old closets need the same. The bedroom designated for my dream of a sewing room have evolved into a hoarder's room because of the expensive work involved. I actually watch Hoarders on TV because it makes me feel better except for that one room.
We've been fighting a terrible ant problem since moving in, and I daresay it had been going on long before because of old water problems in this area. I had Terminix on a regular basis for a couple of years, and it was worthless. About a year after moving, not only did I fight ants, but my health went to crap, and I've had three major joint replacements and several heart procedures, rendering me somewhat useless to move as easily as I used to, and with the fatigue of autoimmune diseases, energy is at a premium I don't have. Depleted.
So, because of the ants, we called Orkin this time. It took hours for this Chatty Cathy to assess and create a plan. I rarely beat around the bush, so I said, "This is going to be expensive, right?" His answer was, "It's an investment." I just shut down. Talking of serious water problem under the house, dehumidifier, a 2nd sump pump (we had one installed), new sealed crawl space, and much, much more, he arrived at a price of about $13,000, which didn't include regular treatments And other things we'd need. You know, I'll fight friggin' ants like I've been doing before investing in a crawl space that no one sees. The new bathroom, reworking closets, and put money into a makeover craft room/bedroom might add to resale value, but not a crawl space. We don't even know, at this age, how long we're going to be able to stay in this house, or even LIVE. Vanessa Jones Grove, our daughter, is in line to get the house anyway, and hers and son-in-law's income is a whole helluva lot more than ours (and he's a talented carpenter/handyman), so if they feel it necessary, they can handle it better.
Bottom line: I'm not into modern day services for the deceased. I want cremation and small graveside service or later memorial service, so if my death is never announced, you'll know the ants carried me away. AND Chatty Cathy said many customers use their Orkin-finished crawl spaces for storage for pandemic and apocalyptic reasons and can even survive with bedding, water, clothing, etc. My answer to that is, "Who the hell wants to live that way?"
